water fun

water fun

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Good vs Bad Mom

So right now I am feeling pretty much like a bad mom.  I work from home I consider that good because I am able to be around my kids and am there for them if they need it. I feel luck that I can do this.  I am happy life has allowed me to be able to do this.  Here is where I feel like a bad mom, I have to have my computer set up and work from another room.  Yes my door is open and my kids can come in if they need me.  On my breaks and Lunch I am out with them.  But if my husband is asleep or not home and I am in working then they pretty much are fending for themselves.   I hate that.  I hate how it makes me feel.  I hate that most of the time I am working the T.V. is on and what is distracting them and keeping them busy. Yes I will turn it off and have them go play but then that will turn into a fighting match over who had what toy first. I can not help but feel that if I could be in the same room with them or was able to focus on them. I know I have to work I do not hold that against anyone that I have to work.  I would probably feel worse or the same if I was in the office and my kids had to go to daycare.  I don't know maybe not maybe they just need that extra social life that has them out and doing things productive. How can I teach my kids all they need and be there for them when I can not even be in the same room as they are for 4 hours of the day.  Am I damaging them?  I want them to turn out good well rounded educated smart kids who feel loved and understood.  I want them to feel like their mother was there for them and they were raised by a mom not a t.v. or left to their own learning.  Is this something all moms go though.  Even if I did not work would I still view myself as an inadequate mother? Sometimes I feel like a great mom.  Mostly on the weekend whey we get out and do stuff or after work and I can be more involved but even then I feel I spend to much time on me and not enough time on them.  I can not even properly potty train my almost 3 year old daughter because I am not able to focus on her like she needs.   If anyone reads this I am not looking for advice.  I just want to know if I am the only one who feels like they are failing at motherhood.