Introducing Ryan Edward Dempsey

    

     On August 21st 2012 at 12:24 pm weighing 8 pounds even measuring 21 inches long our 3rd and final baby Ryan Edward Dempsey was born.  After 39 weeks and 5 days we finally have our little boy.  He was born via a repeat c-section.  It was nice knowing the day he would be here but I was still filled with anxiety and anticipation as we waited for his arrival.  I called into labor and delivery to verify we were still on schedule.  They said we were.  So we drove our kids to a friends house as they would stay with them until my Sister in law could pick them up and then later they would drive down with Josh and Jorja to see our little man.  We got to L&D and got all checked in. They were moving along a bit ahead of schedule so we were able to get back into the OR about 15 minutes early. Everything went as good as could be expected.  At 12:24 my baby boy was here.  Richard went with him as they got him cleaned up then they took us to the recovery room we were there for about an hour then they took us to the room we would be staying in.  My family came by later that evening and spent some time there.  Liz and Jared brought the kids by as well as a balloon and flowers.  It was nice to have my family feeling whole and complete.  I had 4 days in the hospital recovering and have since been home enjoying my family and life.  This has been the least complicated of all the births and I am feeling pretty good.  Welcome Ryan.  We Love You.

FAITH IN GOD PROGRAM EXPERT

So  I have been called to be a Faith in God Program Expert.  I am not sure all that that will entail but I am excited to have this chance to be a part of the program.  From what I was told my roll my be small.  I am to call and help remind the kids and parents that this is a program to be followed to help each child between the ages of 8-12 draw closer to their Heavenly Father and become stronger individuals in the church.  I have so many ideas and so many thoughts running through my head.  Maybe I am a little ambitious and might not even be a part of my calling but I will find out.  

I feel that this program is something I should try to do myself.  Even though I am much older than 12 years old and have already gone through and graduated the primary program many many years ago, if I can do what the children are expected to do today then I feel I can best help and understand what is needed to be done.  

I just pray and hope that I can do some good and help these young bright children of god become all that they are foreordained to become and also learn more about myself and strengthen my own testimony of Christ.

What will I miss?

Ok so I technically have 16 days left of being pregnant.  Now people are starting to ask me what I will miss most about being pregnant.  Hmm let me think...NOTHING.  I can tell you what I will not miss. I will not miss the constant trips to he bathroom.  I will not miss the heartburn. I will not miss not being able to sleep longer than 1 1/2- 2 hour long. I will not miss the sharp kicks to various parts of my body.  I will not miss that nothing I want to wear does not fit.  I will not miss being so hot and uncomfortable 24/7. I will not miss the backaches, headaches, sickness, strong smells, swelling, gas, and multiple trips to Dr. offices.

What i am looking forward to... having a new baby.  Seeing his face.  Feeling complete. Getting back to more normal sleep habits. Being able to play with my kids. Feeling accomplished and not just lazy.

I am not complaining I will go through this as long as I need to but if you ask me what I will miss honestly nothing.

Its Complicated

So it seems to me that whoever the punishing parent is the other one is usually sitting there thinking they are being to hard on the child.  I have had my fair turn at this and I know my husband has also.  There are times on both sides it has been said wow you are being so unfair to them.  I know parenting is hard.  It is hard when two people have come from different settings and they have different styles.  I do know when I am being to hard on my children but it seems like I can not stop in the moment.  I am not talking about spanking I try not to hit my child even in a quick slap on the hand.  Not the way I feel that things get accomplished.  I feel I try to set realistic goals but know there are times my goals for them are not at their level of understanding.
It might be that no one follows my blog or even cares what I think but writing helps me it is therapeutic.  Just like me taking a walk to clear my head. Others may think I am running away or that I am hiding from reality but the truth is I am trying my best to understand life and circumstances around me.  I am so far from perfect it is not funny.  I know I have my weaknesses.  I know I have my justifications.  But I am a good mom.  I am generally someone would consider a good person.  Yet I am left feeling helpless sometimes. Feeling trapped in my own mind unable to escape.  My actions and my habits are sometimes questioned not just by others but myself as well.
I wish I could remember my past and get through all the pain I have in it so I can heal.  So I can be happy. I need to just let go and do it.

Josh Turner is one of my favorite singers all these songs just get me feeling happy when I hear them and oh his voice wow.  I love it.  I got all of these off of youtube. They are fun if you get a chance to listen to them I hope you enjoy them as much as I do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH1Z9DEDqpk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyRZTAmcW7c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nADTbWQof7Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AST8fosZHQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGZV2Sr1sTg

Help Does Not Equal Failure

I have been to see a therapist before.  I deal with depression and anxiety issues.   People hear or find out I have been to see a therapist and I see that look of geez what is wrong with you?  Or get comments of oh you shouldn't worry you are a good person you have a beautiful family.  Well yes I do but that does not mean that I do not struggle or do not have problems.  Outwardly I can be happy while inwardly I am in torment.  Some yes by my own doing other just by my chemical make up.  I go to see a therapist when I need to not because I am weak or crazy but because I feel I am strong and am trying to remain strong. 

There is such a negative connotation that goes with seeing a therapist or going to counseling.  It is not fair to think that there has to be something seriously wrong with you if your admit you need help.  Well guess what,  that could not be farther from the truth.  Those who can admit they need help dealing with certain situations are some of the strongest people I know.  Therapy and counseling teaches a person different techniques on how to handle, view or approach different situations.  Sometimes in cases medication is used because the bodies chemistry makeup may be unbalanced.  Does that mean you are crazy.  NO!  It only means you recognizee something is not right and that you want to fix it.  Believe me I have learned a lot being in therapy and it helps me know what power I truly have over my own life.  It helps me know I will not be a person who chooses not to deal with life and end up having a moment where all comes to the surface at once causing me to act in a way that would be detrimental and life changing.  I am not a failure. I am strong

Texas Trip

   
        So we left for our trip to Texas on Sunday the 29th around 11:00 PM. We were first going to meet up with my Grandma who lives in Firestone, CO.  We got there around 9:00 am on the 30th.

   

     We had a nice visit.  We had Breakfast together it was nice to see and catch up with her.  Richard had been  driving all night so it was my turn to do some driving.  We would be in Colorado for a good portion of the day and then briefly we would be in Oklahoma.  Before Oklahoma Richard took over driving.  As soon as we entered into Oklahoma Richard said to me hey if you see a speed limit sign tell me I don't know the speed here.  No sooner did he say that he saw lights behind him as he was pulled over for going 72 in a 65 zone.  He only got a warning as he explained he did not see any speed limit signs.  Honestly the entire hour we were in Oklahoma we did not see any speed limit signs what so ever.

     We got into Amarillo TX around 6:00 PM we were going to stop in a hotel but because I had gotten some sleep we decided to try to keep driving as Richard would rest until we got to San Antonio and then he would drive from there.  Well I am not a map reader and only go by the directions that I could get from GPS well we ended up taking a lot of back roads.  Both of us were getting tired and not much sleep we were about an hour from San Antonio we did not know this but we found a hotel in a small town and just had to stop.  That was about 3:30 am on the 1st so we stopped until about 8:30 am giving us and the kids a chance to sleep in a bed and then shower and freshen up for the rest of our drive.  We ended up getting into San Antonio and then just had about a 3 1/2 hour  until we would reach Portland and be able to relax at his parents house.  We got to his parents house right around 1:00 pm with two kids and a 6 month pregnant lady I think we made good time. Especially considering a 5 hour stop at a hotel and loosing an hour of time in changing time zones.

We did get some time to rest the rest of that day.  I think that the lack of sleep and the humidity took its toll on me because the next day I was not feeling 100%.  But there were plans to go to the Aquarium and I could not pass that up.  So I bucked up and we went and the kids got to enjoy the Aquarium.

 The next day we headed to Houston that is about a 3 hour drive. Richard's mom works for a hotel so we were staying in a hotel that night.  We got to Houston and that night we went to a baseball game.  It was fun but very hot.  And the Astros won so that was great.

      After our stay at the Hotel that night we stayed in Houston and the next morning we went to the Children's Museum.  It was great fun.  The kids loved it.

We then Drove back from Houston to Portland and had the chance to rest for the evening.  The next day though we went to a Hooks Baseball game they are Triple A team.  They did not do so good but it was still fun.

   

The day after that we spent at the beach  I enjoyed it because Josh enjoyed it.  It think it was his favorite part of the trip he had so much fun.

The Next day we just spent time relaxing and recovering from our week of non stop fun.  It was great. Joshua and I got really sunburned.  That was Josh's first Sunburn he did not like it so much. Richard did get burned on his arms and neck.  Jorja did not get burned at all.  

The next day was our drive home.  Well we did stop in Kyle Texas to meet up with one of Richards old friends it was a nice short visit but good to get to know someone new.  Then we had our drive to Roswell and stayed there for the night.  No we did not see any aliens but thanks all for the alien jokes when you found out where we were staying.  We did learn we do need to stop no straight driving for us.  The next morning we were back on the road to Salt Lake City only 13 more hours and we would be back home.  Well so we thought. Richard did most of the driving we switched just outside of Green River, UT before getting onto Highway 6 then we switched. It should have been just a 35 minute drive to the end. Little did I know that no one has any common courtesy anymore and will not turn off their high beams while driving at night no matter how many times you flash them.  Thus making a twisty mountain road very hard to navigate and then having an anxiety attack did not help.  Luckily we got to a part where I could pull over and Richard drove until we got out of the pass.  Then we just had our hour drive from Orem to North Salt Lake.  We got home at 1:40 AM on 5/11 got the kids in bed and the car unloaded and then off to bed I went. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.  It was a great trip.  But felt good to be back in my own bed.