I get Therapy From Monk

If you have seen the USA t.v.series Monk you know the main character has many quirks about him.  Monk's compulsive habits are numerous, and a number of phobias compound his situation, such as his fear of germs. Monk has 312 fears, some of which are milk, ladybugs, harmonicas, heights, imperfection, and risk. So those that know the show probably laughing at me.

Well as the title states I do get therapy from Monk.  Dr Adam Monk.  He is a great respectable therapist who has helped me out tremendously.  And I am no longer afraid to admit that I do see a therapist.  No none of this my parents messed me up so bad and my family does not get me kind of stuff.  I just go there to talk.  I talk he listens and he gives me ways to understand and deal with life a lot better than I have in the past.

The thing that has help me the most. Is the Myself and Others diagram he shared. It applies to many instances in life if not all.  I will try to describe it the best I can. Maybe it will help someone else along the way. 

There are two components in every one's life.  YOU and OTHERS. Everything that is not you is an other, be it weather, people, furniture... you get the idea.  You have control over you and only you.  You control how you act or react to every Other out there.  Every Other out there can only control how it will act or react to us.

Now there is another part to this.  There is influence.  We can never force someone to react or act a certain way but we can influence them.  As well as every Other can influence you.  For example it is a warm sunny day, because it is a warm sunny day we are happy.  We are influenced by the weather.  Now we can try to use our influence on weather and wish it would do one thing but we probably don't have much influence on weather. Another example.  Your husband comes home yelling.  His yelling has an influence on you. You become mad or you decide you use your influence of being happy give your husband a hug and kiss tell him you love him.  Now here is the tricky part.  He can either accept or reject you influence. Lets hope he accepts it and now your positive influence makes him happy.

This has helped me so much. If I remember to stop and think I remember I have little control.  I can only control me and not others. It is hard but I am feeling better about who I am. I just hope I can have more positive influence on Others instead of negative