Forgetful Moments

I am having moments a lot lately where I will be in a middle of a task and completely forget what I was doing and why I was doing it.  Sometimes I wonder about what causes the mind to do that. 

Does it mean the task is not that important to me?  I don't know.  Maybe its a sign of not enough sleep. Or maybe a sign of having to much on my mind.  Maybe it is do to something medical.  It does not bother me to much I just wonder.

I seem to remember the important things in life and I am not forgetting time in my life so I am not concerned about Alzheimer or something like that.

I guess I will just have to write down what needs to be done and not sweat the small stuff.

I get Therapy From Monk

If you have seen the USA t.v.series Monk you know the main character has many quirks about him.  Monk's compulsive habits are numerous, and a number of phobias compound his situation, such as his fear of germs. Monk has 312 fears, some of which are milk, ladybugs, harmonicas, heights, imperfection, and risk. So those that know the show probably laughing at me.

Well as the title states I do get therapy from Monk.  Dr Adam Monk.  He is a great respectable therapist who has helped me out tremendously.  And I am no longer afraid to admit that I do see a therapist.  No none of this my parents messed me up so bad and my family does not get me kind of stuff.  I just go there to talk.  I talk he listens and he gives me ways to understand and deal with life a lot better than I have in the past.

The thing that has help me the most. Is the Myself and Others diagram he shared. It applies to many instances in life if not all.  I will try to describe it the best I can. Maybe it will help someone else along the way. 

There are two components in every one's life.  YOU and OTHERS. Everything that is not you is an other, be it weather, people, furniture... you get the idea.  You have control over you and only you.  You control how you act or react to every Other out there.  Every Other out there can only control how it will act or react to us.

Now there is another part to this.  There is influence.  We can never force someone to react or act a certain way but we can influence them.  As well as every Other can influence you.  For example it is a warm sunny day, because it is a warm sunny day we are happy.  We are influenced by the weather.  Now we can try to use our influence on weather and wish it would do one thing but we probably don't have much influence on weather. Another example.  Your husband comes home yelling.  His yelling has an influence on you. You become mad or you decide you use your influence of being happy give your husband a hug and kiss tell him you love him.  Now here is the tricky part.  He can either accept or reject you influence. Lets hope he accepts it and now your positive influence makes him happy.

This has helped me so much. If I remember to stop and think I remember I have little control.  I can only control me and not others. It is hard but I am feeling better about who I am. I just hope I can have more positive influence on Others instead of negative

Deep in Thought

I sat last night deep in thought.  Probably just layed in bed for an hour just thinking.  Some things good.  Some things not so good.  Something were just insain.  I find when I just sit and think my mind takes me on a journey. If I have something important to think about I think my mind takes it in 100 different directions and through 20 different senerios. 

I am pleased with my life.  It has its ups and downs, just like everyone's does.  The thing is there are parts of my life I hide from everyone and then there are some I may overshare.  It takes finding a good balance to feel good about myself. If I feel like I am hiding I feel bad for not being more personable.  If I feel like I am oversharing I feel like I am being a burden to all those around me. 

I think I have started to blog more because my therapist says I need somewhere to write.  Somewhere to express my opinion and feel like I am talking to someone.  Maybe noone is reading or following my blog and it does not matter to me one way or another because this is what I need to do.

What Life May Bring

I have made promises in life and some I have kept some I have regrettably not kept. I would like to think that the most important promises I have kept.  I have never cheated on my husband.  I am raising our kids in the gospel, teaching them the best I can to be good people. I have never touched a drop of alcohol,tobacco, or illegal drugs. 


This however does not make me better than anyone out there who has or does struggle with things I do not.  I have my things I do struggle with. To some what I think is minor they may think is huge.


See that is what makes us different.  We all have our triumphs and struggles in life. 


I have found that the promises I have made with God are the ones at top priority in my life.  With that we feel that we have guidance in our life that will help us be in the right place at the right time to help in our eternal progression. 


Come March 2012 we will be moving to Texas.  The city and town is still undecided to 100% but right now lays 90% on San Marcos and 10% on Corpus Christi. There Richard will open up a business and our family will live and grow.  We also feel like we have one more child to grace our family.  Right now the plans for that would be once we get to Texas but if we happen to get pregnant now it will be Gods will.  


I am so thankful for what I do have in my life and count us lucky to have what we do.  And look forward to what life may bring 

Perfection

    I love how perfect my children are.  Now that does not mean they don't make mistakes they are learning after all.  But honestly they are perfect.  They find joy and amusement in the littlest things.  They love so purely.  If someone wrongs them all it takes is a hug and all is forgiven.  It is no wonder God wants us to be like a little child.  And in our own way we are.  In this life we are learning and growing and trying to be like our father in heaven.  Some of us need a little more guidance and patience.  Some are just like an innocent child and will blindly and obediently follow God knowing he will not lead them astray. 

In someways I know I need further guidance and patience from God in others I know I am fine.  Though on my road to perfection I will stumble I will fall.  I will turn around and run the other way.  But in the end all I can hope for is that I will have made it far enough along the path and allow Jesus to make up to rest. 

Innocence

I love this picture it was his first time watching fireworks. He was so excited and had such joy on his face. It saddens me when I see this joy leave his face.  I love my children so much and they are so innocent.  To many times though I have been the cause of taking this away from them.  I let my own shortcomings sweep over me and I am left with a child wondering what they did wrong.  But then there are the times, which I hope out number the last.  Putting a smile on your child's face and seeing their eyes light up is so refreshing and meaningful.  I can think of nothing better in life than seeing someone you love filled with joy and happiness.  So imagine how it is for our Father in Heaven.  He is the perfect example of what and how to be.  He cries when we cry and rejoices when we rejoice.  I love that  thought.  I love my children and I love the innocence they have and bring. 

Our Beginnings

Ok so Richard and I meet November 2005 at a friends party they were throwing for their son.  He had just gotten out of a bad relationship, he was not looking to be nice to anyone of the female gender. Needless to say we did not hit it off.  I went up to Logan for school and Richard moved out to Tooele for work.  Right after Easter I got a call from my friend she said Richard wanted to ask me out.  My thought was WHY.  But figured at least I could get a free meal out of it all.  He called me that night and we talked for 3 hours.  Nice.  My thoughts about this guy was starting to change.  We set up a date for 3 weeks out to meet in Salt Lake City being middle meeting grounds.  We happened to talk everyday via messenger or phone.  I liked getting to know him. 

Well about 1 week before our date I went out with my roommates.  We had fun but one thing lead to another and I ended up with a car backing over my leg.  I was lucky and only dislocated my knee.  I called Richard to cancel, so I thought.  He had other plans.  Instead he came up to Logan and spent the weekend taking care of me.  Driving me around. Sitting playing games and watching movies together.  Well I was hooked from that point on.

On August 10th 2006 Richard took me out for a drive we went to a park got out to walk it started to rain.  So we got back in and drove up to Jordan River Temple.  There we went and sat by the fountain just admiring the view.  He at that time proposed.  It was so sweet.  Of course I said YES. 

We were married on December 16th 2006.  It was one of the best days of my life it was small and simple but those I loved where there.  March 17th 2007 we found out we were pregnant.  Joshua was born on November 11th 2007 such a blessing to out life. December 21st 2007, the three of us where sealed as an eternal family.  One of the most precious moments in my life is when the place Joshua on the alter with us and we were sealed as a family.  June 10th 2009 we were blessed again with the birth or our daughter Jorja.  Yes the spelling is different but we love it. 

We now live in an apartment in Taylorsville, UT.  Josh and Jorja grew everyday.  Life is good.