So it seems to me that whoever the punishing parent is the other one is usually sitting there thinking they are being to hard on the child. I have had my fair turn at this and I know my husband has also. There are times on both sides it has been said wow you are being so unfair to them. I know parenting is hard. It is hard when two people have come from different settings and they have different styles. I do know when I am being to hard on my children but it seems like I can not stop in the moment. I am not talking about spanking I try not to hit my child even in a quick slap on the hand. Not the way I feel that things get accomplished. I feel I try to set realistic goals but know there are times my goals for them are not at their level of understanding.
It might be that no one follows my blog or even cares what I think but writing helps me it is therapeutic. Just like me taking a walk to clear my head. Others may think I am running away or that I am hiding from reality but the truth is I am trying my best to understand life and circumstances around me. I am so far from perfect it is not funny. I know I have my weaknesses. I know I have my justifications. But I am a good mom. I am generally someone would consider a good person. Yet I am left feeling helpless sometimes. Feeling trapped in my own mind unable to escape. My actions and my habits are sometimes questioned not just by others but myself as well.
I wish I could remember my past and get through all the pain I have in it so I can heal. So I can be happy. I need to just let go and do it.
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